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| Sita, Rama, and Lakshmana with the Golden Deer |
I sat there with my hands in my lap, my heart filled with worry. How could I have been so stupid? What was a beautiful golden deer compared to my husband? Rama, even with all his reservations still went to go capture the deer I was so enamored with. He loved me very much and would do anything to keep me happy. He protested but I selfishly pushed and insisted until he finally relented. I sat their quite pleased with myself. I had known he would say yes.
"I don't want to leave you here for some deer," he had said. "What if something happens and I'm too far away to help you?"
"I'll be fine Rama! Lakshmana will stay here and protect me." I reassured him.
Lakshmana and Rama were very close. Lakshmana had a twin but if you would hear about their devotion to each other, you would think Rama was his twin. After all, Lakshmana had chose exile out of devotion to his brother. If Rama was to trust anyone with my life, it would be Lakshmana. With this reassurance, he finally left to capture my deer. He was gone for a while when we heard Rama cry out. My heart felt like a stone in my chest. I could not manage a breath. Something happened to my Rama, and it was all my fault. I sent Lakshmana to go see what was wrong.
"I cannot leave you, Sita. I promised Rama I would guard you with my life!"
"You will not have a brother to keep your promise to if you don't go help him! Please Lakshmana! I cannot lose him."
Lakshmana left after his brother reluctantly. I sat there, filled with worry and regret. I was so involved in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the door the first time. I went to open it and there was and old hermit. How could I not let him in? Just because I was suffering did not mean I couldn't ease another's. Besides, it would make for a good distraction until the men returned.
Author's Note
I decided to write my story over Sita getting kidnapped by Ravana. There was a demoness who tried to kill Sita because she fell in love with Rama and wanted him for herself. Lakshmana ended up mutulatinrg her and the demoness ran to tell her brother Ravana after Rama and Lakshmana killed her other brother and his demon army. Ravana fell in love with Sita just by the description he was given by his sister. He decided he wanted her as his own and got his demon uncle to disguise himself as a golden deer to lure Rama away from their home. Rama refuses at first because of an omen he was told before. Sita convinces him to go anyways and Lakshmana is left with her. When Rama kills the deer, it cries out in Rama's voice. Sita sends Lakshmana after him even though he knows something isn't right. Ravana, disguised as an old hermit, goes to Sita. He reveals himself and Sita tells him to leave before Rama comes back. Ravana literally picks up the ground she's standing on and takes her away. I decided to write it in Sita's point of view so we could see her perspective up until the point she was kidnapped.
Ravana Abduts Sita from Narayan's Ramayana
Miriam, it was a good choice to delve into Sita's point of view of the events just before her kidnapping, and it kept me engaged. You gave her a kind of selfish personality when she begs Rama to kill the deer, knowing he will do so. I think that this is an interesting difference compared to the original, in which Sita is not given much of a personality at all. I do wonder what would have happened if Lakshmana had refused Sita's request to go after Rama. Would Rama have returned safely, and would Ravana not have taken the form of a hermit and presented himself to Sita? Also, why did Ravana disguise himself as a hermit in the first place? Did he think that Sita would reject him outright? A "what if" question that I came up with for this post was what if the kidnapping scene had been told from Lakshmana's perspective? Would he have felt the same guilt for Sita that Sita felt here for Rama? I think it would be interesting to read a story from that point of view, as well. Very good job with this!
ReplyDeleteMiriam, the way you told the story from Sita's point of view is great! Not many students have told this story from Sitas point of view. Rama is always so selfless when it comes to making Sita happy. It was clever for you to have Sita be selfless for once and tell Lakshmana to go help Rama. At the end I was a little confused but after reading that part twice I realized hermit is Ravana. Was there any specific reason you used a hermit for him to embody? Also, did the deer ever get caught? The deer was the main reason for they story so I was looking forward to hearing about the outcome of the Deer and Rama. I think it would be a cool idea to elaborate and give details on what happened before Rama cried out. Did the deer pierce him with his horn? Did Rama accidentally hurt himself? Those details would make the story more juicy! Overall your creativity is great.
ReplyDeleteWow Miriam! I haven't read the original story, but I did enjoy your version very much. It reminded me of our classmate, Natalie's story of Rama and Sita, but instead of a narrative, you gave it a first-person perspective from Sita. Which it isn't as common to have her perspective and I think it's great. The both of you make me want to rewrite this story for myself, because I've now seen two different versions and it's offering some ideas. Although, I do wonder how you would have written the story if it was done in Rama or even Lakshmana's perspective. And rather than Sita waiting in a home, would she be off to help rather than gaining help? What if Ravana wasn't disguised as a hermit, but something else or there was a different way for him to arrive to seduce her? Such as a way of a knight riding a carriage to come offer help? I do like that you kept the deer in the story, it offers a sort of innocence, in my opinion, until it cries out to trick Sita and Lakshmana. So many options, but your story was perfect, simple and effective!
ReplyDeleteHi Miriam!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story. I liked switching it to Sita's point of few and giving her a little bit more depth. I think you did a great job of making her feel guilty for asking Rama to go after the deer but not guilty about sending Lakshama away. Having the read the rest of the Ramayana it is almost sad how much faith she has in Rama's love for her. Great job!
Hi Miriam! I think it was a great idea to tell the story from Sita's perspective, i makes the fantastical event of the story feel a bit more real and relatable. I think specifically fro this story where there is a bit of mystery about the scream coming from Rama this approach worked great to make the story have a bit more intensity.
ReplyDelete